Failure to Yield
When I was in college, I was in a car accident. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at a four-way stop. I misjudged how fast the oncoming traffic was approaching and attempted to just book it across the street. That split second, irrational decision born out of sheer impatience cost me big time. I was hit by an oncoming truck and slammed into another truck.
I was at fault because I failed to yield. When you’re at fault you have to pay up. Ever since that moment, I’ve been extremely cautious at four-way stops. I’ll sit there all day to ensure safe passage to the other side. I’ve become hyper-vigilant. In the same way, this car accident shaped the way I drive, the Lord has taught me some hard lessons in relationships as well when it comes to yielding.
You’re Not as Right as You Think You Are
Admission of fault does not mean you are weak. On the contrary! It takes a great amount of courage and humility to admit when you’ve wronged someone. You never get a prize for being right in a relationship. No golden stars, no kudos, no pats on the back. What you will always be rewarded for, in one way or another, is grace and poise. Furthermore, and probably most importantly, God is the only just judge. He ultimately decides WHAT is right or wrong, not who. He’s concerned with you being loving and forgiving, not you proving your point.
Yielding most times looks like covering others with love, not giving in to negative emotions or thoughts. It is so easy to rehearse anger, hatred, and contempt in our hearts and minds. Before we know it, we’re ready to divorce our spouse for them not washing the dishes last month. Instead of planting seeds of disappointment, believe the best about one another and expect the best.
God Will Not Be Mocked
One of my favorite scriptures comes from Galatians 6:7: “Don't be misled--you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant.”
In other words, don’t be foolish enough to believe you can sow bitterness in a relationship and reap goodness and sweetness. It’s also important to remember, if you are mindful enough to remain peaceful and generous even if it isn’t reciprocated by the other person, God will still honor you. It is a mockery to think a just, good God wouldn’t allow you to reap goodness after sowing it. You’re never at a loss when you pursue and act on His word. Take some time to read James 1:22-25. I recently heard a quote that really impacted me. "Nothing is wasted when you've covered it in prayer." There are so many scriptures admonishing us to choose love and to pray without ceasing. You can rest assured no matter what the situation looks like, when you take it to the throne room, you can leave it there and go on about your life because no one can change a situation like our Lord and Savior! It also always encourages me that Jesus sits at the right hand of God, making petitions for us constantly. The ultimate prayer warrior has endured all struggles and did not succumb to them, but overcome them! Who better to cover us in prayer? Read Romans 8:34!
We often take our spouses for granted. We throw our weight around because we are certainly certain they’ll never leave. Friends, that is such a wicked approach to holy matrimony and the sacred covenant of marriage. I’m reminded of this scripture when I think about taking others for granted.
“…Should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forget that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death?”
- Romans 6:1-3
I’ve said it before, but when you get married, you die to yourself a little more than you did when you chose Christ. It is a hands-on experience of humility and the battling of one’s flesh in order to become one flesh. We put up with a lot from our spouses, oftentimes, because of how much we love them. But loved people, love people, and forgiven people forgive people.
Fill in the Blanks
One of the very best exercises I think any Christian can do to gain perspective and humility is replacing the word love with your name in the love chapter of the Bible (1 Corinthians 13). Make the necessary adjustments and repent, we all have growing to do.
I also think it’s a healthy practice to humble yourself verbally to your spouse, even if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, just cover all bases and apologize for anything you may have done to hurt, offend, or make them feel anything other than loved. That’s a great deposit in the love tank, and godliness profits in all things.
Stay close to Him,
Morgan