Emotions & Experiences
The Designer's Intent
There are so many myths, misconceptions, and poor representations of what marriage should truly look like and how it was created to function. The weight of every relationship, romantic or otherwise, is measured by how much glory it gives to the Father.
A creation is at it's optimum when it doesn't deviate one iota from the designer's intent.
The construct of marriage is a representation of Christ and His bride. It is not man-made, although man-manipulated. We will not speak to what people have made marriage to be, we will speak to what God designed it to be. Some people seem to automatically take offense to statements like those. We want our readers and supporters to know that we love and accept ALL, but love doesn't mean approval or agreeance. Love is acceptance, an outpour of care and tenderness. Love also sharpens. The only caveat is this: you have to be willing to accept it.
Fill in the Blanks
Truth doesn't hinge on our belief system. It is invariable, it is absolute. So despite what our experiences and emotions may tell us, the Truth cannot lie. I took a fiction writing class in college. It taught me so much about form. I also had the chance to read from writers who truly impacted me. The most inspiring memory I have was learning about the gray area between fiction and non-fiction. It's funny how you can never truly remember exactly how a thing happened. There are some details you can't forget, they are etched in your mind, and others you fill in. You can't help but fill in the blanks. You have to fill in the blanks to make the story work.
“I want you to feel what I felt. I want you to know why story-truth is truer sometimes than happening-truth.”
― Tim O'Brien, The Things They Carried
Vain Imaginations
Our emotions lie to us sometimes and so do our experiences. Sometimes they work in tandem to derail us. Vain imaginations are at the root of every case of adultery, every lie we perpetuate, every fit of rage, every suicidal thought.
The Bible speaks to those vain imaginations in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 6 And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
I love the Message translation:
“The world is unprincipled. It’ a dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn’t fight fair. But we don’t live or fight our battles that way-never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.”
Unrealistic expectations and an improper or impractical view of marriage only set our hearts up to be torn apart. This verse is a great reference point for how to combat the lies that try to force themselves into the position of truth. First, we know though we are flesh, we don’t walk according to our desires or our emotions. The eyes and ears we have must be tuned into Heaven's frequency. We become stronger and stronger in battle the more we cast down lies and exalt the truth.
Guard your heart and mind. Speak life. Know God. Let Christ rule.
This may sound really churchy. But it’s practical: Don’t repeat or think about what you know God isn’t saying, what you know isn’t in his word.
What Kel and I hope to accomplish through Mitch and Gunner is to simply impact and empower people to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Which is impossible without the help and guidance of The Holy Spirit. We may convince ourselves we’re alright, but truly, apart from Him, we can do nothing. All of it is worthless without Him.
A Common Denominator
We’ve found the common denominator in relationships failing or not reaching their greatest potential is the perpetuation of vain imaginations (lie, falsehood, preconceived notions, unrealistic expectations) and painful past experiences.
We’d like to encourage you to forget what isn’t profitable for you and remember the goodness of God and rejoice in being alive! Let your gratitude push you into the arms of the Father and out of the prison of your negative emotions. Yes, it will be challenging and uncomfortable, but the fruit, the crown, the eternal gift is all worth it! We’ll walk through these topics in more detail in the coming months and are so thankful to have you along for the ride!